I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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