weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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