We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
