Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
