I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
