bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
