omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
