Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
