Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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