In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
