I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
