I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
