If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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