community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
