one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
