he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
pray to the hookup gods
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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