I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
