I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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