Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
