Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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