There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
