I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
