i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
