like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
