erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
