Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
