omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish i was in the wii world.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
