I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
