omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
