It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
