I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
