im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I want a musical about memes.
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