i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
