i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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