I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
