"it" just moved
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
