he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
