I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
