so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
