Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
