Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
