Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
