i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
