you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
