Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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