You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
