Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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