id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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