YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
