Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
