i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
