I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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